Showing posts with label copy paste. Show all posts
Showing posts with label copy paste. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Trust me on the Sunscreen

While rummaging through my music collection- among the Floyds, Metallicas, John Mayers, Didos- I've always been procrastinating to sort out the unsorted music that I posses in my laptop. Yeah, the one or two folders named "#Categorize" or "#To_be_sorted" that always meets my eye every time I pick my oft-listened-to Aqualung track (Brighter than Sunshine); and get demoted to my peripheral vision which quickly goes to neglected status.
These folders contain a diversity of music in their genres worth of an Amazon rainforest. The deleting of same songs with different versions (acoustic, orchestra, stage live, this DJ, that DJ mix) with varying megabytes is as heartbreaking as choosing which of my metaphorical/hypothetical kids are dearer to me. I had to oblige, once my trusty 180 Gig D drive started gasping out S.O.S.s constantly in the form of "Low Disk Space".

And so this lovechild of indolence and procrastination (me!) today started sorting out those unsorted and multiple copies of the same song with similar names like "Nirvana-Smell's like teen spirit" and "01 Nirvana" and "Smells lyk teem spipit" or even "Neervana" which found their ways into five various folders labeled "Nirvaana" or "Rock muzzic" or "Rocking songzzz" or even "Guitarwallah(!) Songs".

I don't know how many of you have this O.C.D like I do, but I like to arrange my files or folders into thumbnails-provided they assimilate within my vision without the need to use scrollbars-and then by type, and in alphabetical order. Also, I make it a point to remove any numerals, unless necessary and refrain from using any SMS lingo in my files. Thats the basic. I plan to innovate by sorting them into the year of their release, their album cover as folder picture, adding lyric page, and....O.K. Geek alert!! :D

That not only helps me locate my favorite Carter Burwell symphony orchestra track from Twilight or ACDC track (TNT) but also helps Rover (the Microsoft Search Dog) to fetch my files in a heartbeat. I wish I could give it treats or a nice rub sometimes. Good boy, Rover! :)

Talking of one song; which caught my attention today. I read its name, but, surprisingly I could remember how it sounded like. See, the thing with me is that I can't recognize a song unless its been taped in my head atleast seven times-Yeah! thats my magic number-till which I'm like tone/melody deaf. I pick up a couple of seconds later or till the beats start.This time my audio-sensory part of my brain caught up well.

So about this song, its called "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" by Baz Lurhmann and its unusual because its a narration of advice.
I did a bit of "research" to find out who it was written by: aaaaand it turns out that after an erroneous claim circulating in the Internet a couple of years ago that an MIT guy named Kurt Vonnegut addressed it, it was actually written by Mary Theresa Schmich, which was published in the Chicago tribune.
You might have come across it already via forwarded e-mails. Its wonderfully written. Here it is, word to word.

Image Courtesy- Discovery Education

"Wear sunscreen. 
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. 
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. 
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. 
Do one thing every day that scares you. 
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.*
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. *
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. 

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. 

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. 

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. 

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. 

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. 

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. 

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. 

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. 

They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. 
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. 

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. 
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. 

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. 

Respect your elders. 

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. 

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. 

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. 

But trust me on the sunscreen. "

Most points are really reassuring. The ones with the asterisks on the end are my favourites. I never knew sunscreen is that effective. :)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

India: not so FAQ

With the schools and colleges closed and most paranoid Mumbaikars confined to their influenzaless homes- unless they brave outdoors only with a green phantom mask-I was bored and browsing through my e-mails when I came across this hilarious one I received ages ago. I ROFLed all over again! :D

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK )
A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)

Happy Independence Weekend y'all!

(PS: Trying really REALLY hard to get outta "writer's block")
(PPS: Thanks to Rach for the e-mail :) )

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Oh so gorgeous!

Amongst the uncountable number of quizzes, is one such quiz on Facebook called the 'What's Wrong With You?" quiz.
The quizzes i am *ahem* requested to take have vague and simbly stoopid :P results.
But, this one took the cake!

Check it out:

Gauri took the What's Wrong With You? quiz.
Gauri took the What's Wrong With You? quiz and the result is Too Attractive.
Your extreme level of hotness is distracting and offensive to everyone.

(That's not it.... read ahead...)

Seriously. You're so hot that it makes your friends vomit out of jealousy and strangers drool out of animal lust. Invest in some burlap sacks before everyone you know turns into drooling, vomity messes. Or maybe just invest in some mops.

And don't forget to thank your mom and dad for making you so gorgeous. They did good.

Thanks mom and dad! :P

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Date with a Woman

I just got this in my mail. You must have already read this or such stories like this. Very heart-warming read!


After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
'What's wrong, are you well ?', she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.' She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, 'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said.
'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each others life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.
'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.

I love you, son.'

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